yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
