Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
