That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize