Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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