I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
