Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL