Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.