My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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