In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
