lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize