sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize