You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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