I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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