I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize