I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
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This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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