Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize