Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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