she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
