some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car