I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.