Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be