Swine flu is the new snow day.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida