I can text with my tongue
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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