I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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