Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
