Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
