I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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