she looked like the before picture.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.