i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
