Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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