Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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