Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Someone signed my nipple.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
