You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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