You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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