In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize