"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
