Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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