Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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