Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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