My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize