she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
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holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka