That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.