I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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