I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize