Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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