So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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