we have pet lesbian snakes
they need to just BURY HIM!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.