Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize