Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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