I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize