I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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