it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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