I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
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My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
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If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize