I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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