I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.