But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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